Today I read this article in all4woman. I found it very interesting as most of us have them: LOVE HANDLES..... We all dislike them and wish they could go away. So I hope that this article will make all aware on how to get rid off them and why we should. Summer time is coming and so is having fun next to pool and having the awfull LOVE HANDLES won't want you to wear the new swimsuits for the season.
Regardless of what we call them, love handles are not lovable and cuddly. Love handles indicate stubborn fat around the midriff which is not only annoying and unsightly, but dangerous to our health as well.
Interestingly love handles seem to bother slimmer people more than those who are already extremely overweight.
There are only two ways to rid yourself of love handle fat – correct eating and correct exercise.
It’s a good idea to start with an eating plan. Even though you might not have a lot of fat on your body, it is vitally important for your health to deal with the problem that you have on each side of your waist. A sensible diet could be the most vital part of getting you to where you would like to go with your whole abdominal area.
Drink more water to lose love handle fat
You've probably heard it a million times before but if you're like the majority, you’ll probably be tempted to forego the water for carbonated soft drinks. However, if you do not drink at least two litres of plain filtered water per day, the chances of losing your love handles will be minimal.
Water flushes out your system, helps you to feel fuller, and prevents you from eating as much. It is one of the most significant things you can do for your body and your wellbeing.
Eat vegetables and fruits to lose love handle fat
Your body needs nutrients to perform the functions it must in order for you to lose the love handle fat around your midriff. Veggies and fruits, particularly those that are eaten raw, are packed full of a selection of nutrient elements including antioxidants which fight off disease and also strengthen your immune system. They offer you fibre for digestion to help keep your body clean and toxin free at the same time as filling you up.
Ditch the fast food to lose love handle fat
Oily cheeseburgers, French fries and a soft drink isn't going to help you to lose those love handles or burn any fat. It is only going to contribute to the issue. A part time approach will not get the job done. Additionally, when you eat a lot of processed food with trans-fats, salt and sugar, you are putting yourself in danger of diabetes and heart disease.
Get moving to lose love handle fat
You need to raise your level of activity to burn any body fat that you do have in this area but it's also necessary to do some exercises that may strengthen the muscles in your abdominal area. The obliques are the muscles on either side of your abdomen.
Exercises that involve toning your obliques are bicycling (lying on the floor on your back, hands clasped behind head, bringing knee to elbow on opposite sides) is one of the finest examples of oblique exercises for dealing with love handles.
You really can lose your love handles fat by eating right, using up fat, and toning, and by applying dedication and persistence to your diet and exercise plan. It's essential, however, to consult your health practitioner before starting any weight loss or fitness regime.
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki building the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to lose love handle fat. Content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons License.
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Dealing with past first
I have read this article in the womans health and what tehy say is true.
Hope you enjoy
Hope you enjoy
Deal with past relationship issues before you move on
Deal With The Past First
I see so many relationships that are torn apart because of issues that weren't dealt with in the past. People hold onto resentment, anger and hurt, and it becomes a part of the relationship. Whether the issues are part of a previous relationship, or whether they are part of the new relationship, you will never be able to move on until they are dealt with.
Some of the most common problems include:
• Distrust of the partner due to infidelity in the past (a lot of the time, it was a previous partner that was unfaithful, not the new partner).
• Fear of addressing concerns in the relationship in case they lead to violent outbursts or irrational behaviour.
• The inability to identify a specific issue, but harbouring a feeling of resentment every time your partner does something small to irritate you.
• A history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
• A history of failed relationships and choosing inappropriate partners.
• Interfering parents/friends/family members.
• Guilt over something that happened in the past (which might not even have anything to do with the current relationship).
Remember, relationships are not like band aids. You can't just put a new relationship on top of an old wound. You need to heal the wound first before you can move ahead. You may still have some scars, but at least you will have dealt with the issue and you know how to move on from it.
It is not fair to expect a new partner to deal with issues that happened in your past. I see so many couples that suspect infidelity in their new partners because they have been betrayed before. The new partner has to deal with being blamed for something they didn’t even play a part in. If you have experienced deep pain and hurt in a past relationship, I suggest seeking counselling before beginning a new one. That way, you will be able to offer a 'new, whole and confident' person to your new partner.
We all have relationship problems and addressing the problems and communicating with your partner is the best thing for any relationship to proceed.
Some of the most common problems include:
• Distrust of the partner due to infidelity in the past (a lot of the time, it was a previous partner that was unfaithful, not the new partner).
• Fear of addressing concerns in the relationship in case they lead to violent outbursts or irrational behaviour.
• The inability to identify a specific issue, but harbouring a feeling of resentment every time your partner does something small to irritate you.
• A history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
• A history of failed relationships and choosing inappropriate partners.
• Interfering parents/friends/family members.
• Guilt over something that happened in the past (which might not even have anything to do with the current relationship).
Remember, relationships are not like band aids. You can't just put a new relationship on top of an old wound. You need to heal the wound first before you can move ahead. You may still have some scars, but at least you will have dealt with the issue and you know how to move on from it.
It is not fair to expect a new partner to deal with issues that happened in your past. I see so many couples that suspect infidelity in their new partners because they have been betrayed before. The new partner has to deal with being blamed for something they didn’t even play a part in. If you have experienced deep pain and hurt in a past relationship, I suggest seeking counselling before beginning a new one. That way, you will be able to offer a 'new, whole and confident' person to your new partner.
We all have relationship problems and addressing the problems and communicating with your partner is the best thing for any relationship to proceed.
Monday, 17 September 2012
Kompos
Ek dink die laaste tyd baie daaraan om my eie kompos hoop te begin. Het vandag die artikel gekry in die beeld oor kompos. Hoop julle geniet.
Kompos, die swart goud van die aarde
2012-09-13 23:00- Artikelopsies
- Deel
- Kry Beeld op
Dis nie moeilik om self kompos te maak nie. Foto: Geoff Redman
Een van die basiese noodsaaklikhede van suksesvolle
tuinmaak is brokkelrige, vrugbare grond en dit kan net bewerkstellig word deur
voortdurend ’n mildelike vrag kompos by te voeg, skryf Anna
Cilliers.
’n Mens hoor dikwels dat tuiniers kla hul grond is kliphard en dat dit uiters moeilik is om ’n plantgat vir ’n boom of struik daarin te maak.
In ’n poging om dit bewerkbaar te probeer maak, spit hulle dit dan vir die vale om.
Die probleem met klipharde grond is die regstreekse gevolg van te min organiese materiaal (kompos) wat teenwoordig is.
Om dit te probeer regstel met ’n gedurige omspittery vererger die swak struktuur daarvan, veroorsaak dat voordelige grondorganismes wat help met deurlugting en die afbreek van voedingstowwe blootgestel word aan die son en dat dormante onkruidsade vinniger ontkiem.
Boonop verloor ’n mens baie grondvog en dan moet die krane weer oopgedraai word.
Met die gereelde toediening van kompos kan jy die meeste van jou tuinmaakkopsere uitskakel.
Dis doodmaklik om kompos self te maak en die bestanddele daarvan is boonop meestal gratis.
Waar moet die hoop kom?
Maak jou kompos uit die oog in ’n sonnige hoekie van die tuin en verkieslik naby ’n kraan.
Span groot houtkratte (soos deur vrugteverpakkers gebruik) in of bou jou eie vierkantige houer.
As jy genoeg plek het, kan jy meer as een houer oorweeg vir kompos in verskillende stadiums van ontbinding.
Om ’n komposhoop direk op die grond te maak werk ewe goed omdat die grondorganismes soos erdwurms toegang daartoe het en bydra om die plantmateriaal vinniger af te breek.
Moenie die komposhoop groter as sowat 1 m x 1 m maak nie, anders neem dit lank vir die materiaal om af te breek.
Onthou, daar is ook spesiale komposmakers by kwekerye en ysterwarewinkels te koop wat ideaal is vir klein tuine.
Wat kan gebruik word?
- Grassnysels in dun lae
- Ou blare in dun lae
- Snoeisels van heinings, struike en rose – in fyner stukkies gesny
- Enige dooie plantmateriaal, mits dit nie besmet is met fungussiektes nie. Siek takke en blare moet liefs weggegooi of verbrand word.
- Uitgeblomde jaarplante
- Vrugte- en groenteskille
- Dun lagies strooi
- Onbehandelde boombas
- Houtsaagsels
- Natuurlike vesels en klein stukkies koerantpapier
- Kruieknipsels
- Bees-, vark- en hoendermis
- Afval uit voëlhokke
- Teesakkies en koffiemoer
- Fyngedrukte eierdoppe
- Klein hoeveelhede hout-as.
Wat hoort nie gebruik te word nie?
- Plastiek
- Glanspapier soos tydskrifbladsye
- Blikke, glas, ou klere en afvallappe
- Gaar oorskietkos
- Onkruid met saadkoppe aan
- Houtskool- en steenkool-as
- Honde- en katmis.
Maak só
’n Komposhoop word gebou soos wat ’n mens koekstruif sou maak: Alles word in lae gepak.
Gooi eerste ’n laag van sowat 25 cm diep growwe tuinafval soos snoeisels en takkies. Gooi dan 5 cm kraalmis, hoendermis en fyner tuinafval soos grassnysels, blare, dooie eenjariges en kombuisafval by. Gooi volgende ’n 5 cm-laag gewone tuingrond, ou potgrond en ’n bietjie growwe riviersand op die hoop.
Laaste moet jy komposaktiveerder oor die hele oppervlakte van die hoop strooi. ’n Mens kan organiese komposaktiveerders by kwekerye koop of jou eie “aanhits”-konkoksie maak: Kap die blare van nieskruid, brandnetel of smeerwortel fyn en strooi dit tussen elke derde laag. Die opgekapte blare kan ook in ’n emmer water getrek en oor die nuwe komposhoop uitgegooi word.
Kraal- en hoendermis is ook goeie komposaktiveerders wat onverwerkte organiese materiaal vinnig tot ryk humus afbreek. Herhaal al die lae totdat die hoop sowat 1 m hoog is.
Wenke
Bedek die komposhoop in koue weer met ’n ou stuk mat of onkruiddoek wat hitte inhou. Dit sal die verrottingsproses verhaas. Lugsirkulasie en suurstof is baie belangrik – gebruik ’n stok en steek gereeld van bo gate in die hoop. ’n Komposhoop moet klam gehou word, maar nie sopnat nie, anders sal dit vrot.
As die hoop vir lange tye te droog raak, stop die verrottingsproses. Sprinkel dus die hoop af en toe liggies nat.
Jy moet ook terwyl jy besig is om die hoop te bou die materiaal effens natmaak met ’n tuinslang.
Keer die hoop elke twee tot drie weke om, of roer die materiaal ’n bietjie vir goeie belugting. Dit behoort ongeveer drie maande te duur voordat die kompos gebruik kan word.
’n Slegte reuk in die omgewing beteken gewoonlik dat die hoop te nat is en dat daar ’n gebrek aan suurstof is. Keer dit om en gooi nog growwe materiaal by. As die ontbindingsproses te stadig plaasvind, kan nog kraalmis en aktiveerder bygevoeg word.
Gebruik kompos só
Strooi dik lae van die kompos, wat swart van kleur sal wees en “skoon” ruik, in jou struikbeddings. Dit hoef nie ingespit te word nie; die grondorganismes sal dit mettertyd inwerk.
Met ’n deklaag van kompos bly jou grond nie net langer klam nie, maar word ook sag, brokkelrig en makliker bewerkbaar. Dit help ook om die ontkieming van onkruidsade te onderdruk.
Gooi elke keer wanneer jy nuwe struike plant ’n paar grawe vol kompos in die plantgat en gooi ’n bietjie as deklaag oor die wortelstelsel. Moenie toelaat dat kompos te dik teen die stamme van plante lê nie; dit kan verrotting veroorsaak.
’n Mens hoor dikwels dat tuiniers kla hul grond is kliphard en dat dit uiters moeilik is om ’n plantgat vir ’n boom of struik daarin te maak.
In ’n poging om dit bewerkbaar te probeer maak, spit hulle dit dan vir die vale om.
Die probleem met klipharde grond is die regstreekse gevolg van te min organiese materiaal (kompos) wat teenwoordig is.
Om dit te probeer regstel met ’n gedurige omspittery vererger die swak struktuur daarvan, veroorsaak dat voordelige grondorganismes wat help met deurlugting en die afbreek van voedingstowwe blootgestel word aan die son en dat dormante onkruidsade vinniger ontkiem.
Boonop verloor ’n mens baie grondvog en dan moet die krane weer oopgedraai word.
Met die gereelde toediening van kompos kan jy die meeste van jou tuinmaakkopsere uitskakel.
Dis doodmaklik om kompos self te maak en die bestanddele daarvan is boonop meestal gratis.
Waar moet die hoop kom?
Maak jou kompos uit die oog in ’n sonnige hoekie van die tuin en verkieslik naby ’n kraan.
Span groot houtkratte (soos deur vrugteverpakkers gebruik) in of bou jou eie vierkantige houer.
As jy genoeg plek het, kan jy meer as een houer oorweeg vir kompos in verskillende stadiums van ontbinding.
Om ’n komposhoop direk op die grond te maak werk ewe goed omdat die grondorganismes soos erdwurms toegang daartoe het en bydra om die plantmateriaal vinniger af te breek.
Moenie die komposhoop groter as sowat 1 m x 1 m maak nie, anders neem dit lank vir die materiaal om af te breek.
Onthou, daar is ook spesiale komposmakers by kwekerye en ysterwarewinkels te koop wat ideaal is vir klein tuine.
Wat kan gebruik word?
- Grassnysels in dun lae
- Ou blare in dun lae
- Snoeisels van heinings, struike en rose – in fyner stukkies gesny
- Enige dooie plantmateriaal, mits dit nie besmet is met fungussiektes nie. Siek takke en blare moet liefs weggegooi of verbrand word.
- Uitgeblomde jaarplante
- Vrugte- en groenteskille
- Dun lagies strooi
- Onbehandelde boombas
- Houtsaagsels
- Natuurlike vesels en klein stukkies koerantpapier
- Kruieknipsels
- Bees-, vark- en hoendermis
- Afval uit voëlhokke
- Teesakkies en koffiemoer
- Fyngedrukte eierdoppe
- Klein hoeveelhede hout-as.
Wat hoort nie gebruik te word nie?
- Plastiek
- Glanspapier soos tydskrifbladsye
- Blikke, glas, ou klere en afvallappe
- Gaar oorskietkos
- Onkruid met saadkoppe aan
- Houtskool- en steenkool-as
- Honde- en katmis.
Maak só
’n Komposhoop word gebou soos wat ’n mens koekstruif sou maak: Alles word in lae gepak.
Gooi eerste ’n laag van sowat 25 cm diep growwe tuinafval soos snoeisels en takkies. Gooi dan 5 cm kraalmis, hoendermis en fyner tuinafval soos grassnysels, blare, dooie eenjariges en kombuisafval by. Gooi volgende ’n 5 cm-laag gewone tuingrond, ou potgrond en ’n bietjie growwe riviersand op die hoop.
Laaste moet jy komposaktiveerder oor die hele oppervlakte van die hoop strooi. ’n Mens kan organiese komposaktiveerders by kwekerye koop of jou eie “aanhits”-konkoksie maak: Kap die blare van nieskruid, brandnetel of smeerwortel fyn en strooi dit tussen elke derde laag. Die opgekapte blare kan ook in ’n emmer water getrek en oor die nuwe komposhoop uitgegooi word.
Kraal- en hoendermis is ook goeie komposaktiveerders wat onverwerkte organiese materiaal vinnig tot ryk humus afbreek. Herhaal al die lae totdat die hoop sowat 1 m hoog is.
Wenke
Bedek die komposhoop in koue weer met ’n ou stuk mat of onkruiddoek wat hitte inhou. Dit sal die verrottingsproses verhaas. Lugsirkulasie en suurstof is baie belangrik – gebruik ’n stok en steek gereeld van bo gate in die hoop. ’n Komposhoop moet klam gehou word, maar nie sopnat nie, anders sal dit vrot.
As die hoop vir lange tye te droog raak, stop die verrottingsproses. Sprinkel dus die hoop af en toe liggies nat.
Jy moet ook terwyl jy besig is om die hoop te bou die materiaal effens natmaak met ’n tuinslang.
Keer die hoop elke twee tot drie weke om, of roer die materiaal ’n bietjie vir goeie belugting. Dit behoort ongeveer drie maande te duur voordat die kompos gebruik kan word.
’n Slegte reuk in die omgewing beteken gewoonlik dat die hoop te nat is en dat daar ’n gebrek aan suurstof is. Keer dit om en gooi nog growwe materiaal by. As die ontbindingsproses te stadig plaasvind, kan nog kraalmis en aktiveerder bygevoeg word.
Gebruik kompos só
Strooi dik lae van die kompos, wat swart van kleur sal wees en “skoon” ruik, in jou struikbeddings. Dit hoef nie ingespit te word nie; die grondorganismes sal dit mettertyd inwerk.
Met ’n deklaag van kompos bly jou grond nie net langer klam nie, maar word ook sag, brokkelrig en makliker bewerkbaar. Dit help ook om die ontkieming van onkruidsade te onderdruk.
Gooi elke keer wanneer jy nuwe struike plant ’n paar grawe vol kompos in die plantgat en gooi ’n bietjie as deklaag oor die wortelstelsel. Moenie toelaat dat kompos te dik teen die stamme van plante lê nie; dit kan verrotting veroorsaak.
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Roos Mites
Ek het toevallig in die nuwe Tuis tydskrif die raak gelees en dit is baie interessant aangesien dit die tyd is vir rose plant. Hoop julle geniet dit net so baie soos ek.
MITE 1 Wanneer jy snoei, moet jy altyd aan die buitekant van ’n ogie sny.
Dis nie nodig nie, aangesien die roos self besluit waar en hoe hy ’n botsel wil uitstoot.
MITE 2 Wanneer jy ’n roos pluk of snoei, moet die snit altyd teen ’n hoek en ’n spesifieke afstand van die ogie af wees.
Jy kan reguit óf teen ’n hoek sny. Reguit is beter, want dan word ’n kleiner deel van die stam aan die elemente blootgestel en is die wond kleiner. Sny maar redelik naby die ogie, maar moet jou nie te veel oor die presiese afstand bekommer nie.
MITE 3 Dis absoluut noodsaaklik om rose te snoei.
Ons snoei rose omdat ons wil hê hulle moet ’n mooi, netjiese vorm hê. Daarom verwyder ons ou of dooie hout en enige takkiesrige groeisels. Jou roos sal goed klaarkom sonder ’n snoeiery – trouens, hy snoei homself deur ou en lastige groeisels te laat afsterf. Dit lyk net vir ons onnet.
MITE 4 Nadat jy gesnoei het, moet alle snitte geseël word om te keer dat insekte in die stam boor.
Jy gaan nie noodwendig boor-insekte uithou deur te seël nie; hulle gaan eenvoudig laer af in die stam se sykant boor. Spuit eerder met Ludwig’s Insect Spray of Garden Ripcord onmiddellik nadat jy gesnoei het, en daarna voorkomend deur die loop van die roosseisoen.
MITE 5 Rose wat nie floreer nie, moet teruggesnoei word om nuwe groei aan te wakker.
Die kanse is groter dat jy ’n sukkelende roos sal doodmaak deur dit terug te snoei of ekstra kunsmis te gee. Die doel moet wees om die struik se blare te vermeerder, aangesien dit die wortelstelsel versterk. Die beste manier om dit te doen is om die punte van alle nuwe groei af te knyp. Dit laat druk in die stam opbou, wat dormante ogies aanmoedig om uit te loop en basale lote laat vorm. Jy kan een of twee, selfs drie keer terugknyp, maar as die struik nie na wense reageer nie, is die beste raad om hom uit te haal en met ’n nuwe een te vervang.
5 roos-mites
Die kweek van rose word deur allerhande mites omhul. Dit skep die wanindruk dat dié aktiwiteit net moeite en verdriet is. Bobaas-rooskweker Ludwig Taschner ruim van die gevestigde ouvroustories uit die weg.MITE 1 Wanneer jy snoei, moet jy altyd aan die buitekant van ’n ogie sny.
Dis nie nodig nie, aangesien die roos self besluit waar en hoe hy ’n botsel wil uitstoot.
MITE 2 Wanneer jy ’n roos pluk of snoei, moet die snit altyd teen ’n hoek en ’n spesifieke afstand van die ogie af wees.
Jy kan reguit óf teen ’n hoek sny. Reguit is beter, want dan word ’n kleiner deel van die stam aan die elemente blootgestel en is die wond kleiner. Sny maar redelik naby die ogie, maar moet jou nie te veel oor die presiese afstand bekommer nie.
MITE 3 Dis absoluut noodsaaklik om rose te snoei.
Ons snoei rose omdat ons wil hê hulle moet ’n mooi, netjiese vorm hê. Daarom verwyder ons ou of dooie hout en enige takkiesrige groeisels. Jou roos sal goed klaarkom sonder ’n snoeiery – trouens, hy snoei homself deur ou en lastige groeisels te laat afsterf. Dit lyk net vir ons onnet.
MITE 4 Nadat jy gesnoei het, moet alle snitte geseël word om te keer dat insekte in die stam boor.
Jy gaan nie noodwendig boor-insekte uithou deur te seël nie; hulle gaan eenvoudig laer af in die stam se sykant boor. Spuit eerder met Ludwig’s Insect Spray of Garden Ripcord onmiddellik nadat jy gesnoei het, en daarna voorkomend deur die loop van die roosseisoen.
MITE 5 Rose wat nie floreer nie, moet teruggesnoei word om nuwe groei aan te wakker.
Die kanse is groter dat jy ’n sukkelende roos sal doodmaak deur dit terug te snoei of ekstra kunsmis te gee. Die doel moet wees om die struik se blare te vermeerder, aangesien dit die wortelstelsel versterk. Die beste manier om dit te doen is om die punte van alle nuwe groei af te knyp. Dit laat druk in die stam opbou, wat dormante ogies aanmoedig om uit te loop en basale lote laat vorm. Jy kan een of twee, selfs drie keer terugknyp, maar as die struik nie na wense reageer nie, is die beste raad om hom uit te haal en met ’n nuwe een te vervang.
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
Homemade pizza
Last night I made a very tasty pizza. I have decided to share my pizza recipe with everyone.
Firstly I roasted the chicken in a marinade:
1 teaspoon garlic
salt and pepper
1 teaspoon olive oil
50 ml brandy
4 boneless chicken pieces
Roast in the oven for 30 min at 180 degrees
After this you can start with the ready made pizza base.
You can use Tomato and onion mix to cover the base.
After putting tomato and onion mix on start putting on the onions, mushrooms, sundried tomato and the chicken on.
After the chicken add as much cheese as you like. Put in the oven. taake out when cheese has melted and add some avo for finish and serve hot.
Hope this is as delicious as it it was for me. Enjoy =)
Firstly I roasted the chicken in a marinade:
1 teaspoon garlic
salt and pepper
1 teaspoon olive oil
50 ml brandy
4 boneless chicken pieces
Roast in the oven for 30 min at 180 degrees
While the chicken is the oven start with the onions. Carmalize the onions in little bit of oil, sugar and balsamic vinigar. After the onions are done, through mushrooms in a frying pan with some salt pepper and lilttle bit of butter. Fry them till they are brown. After this you can start with the ready made pizza base.
You can use Tomato and onion mix to cover the base.
After putting tomato and onion mix on start putting on the onions, mushrooms, sundried tomato and the chicken on.
After the chicken add as much cheese as you like. Put in the oven. taake out when cheese has melted and add some avo for finish and serve hot.
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
House warming ideas
WE have moved into our new home about two weeks ago. Getting friends over for a house warming takes a lot of planning. So this will be my new challenge.
Lemon cupcakes with Fondant icing decoration. This would be lovely for spring. So in the next few weeks, the last few weeks of Winter I will put step by step on how to make these cupcakes.
Hope this will be as fun for you as it will be for me =)
Hope this will be as fun for you as it will be for me =)
Friday, 6 July 2012
Reasons to stop worrying about your Boyfriend's ex.
I have struggled the past year to get over the fact that my boyfriend's ex just doesn't want to give up. It had such an effect that it made me depressed. I have today come accross this article at all4woman.com and this has opened my eyes. I love the guy I am with and nothing can stop that. We chose to be together and nothing else matter. The fact that he comes home every night to me from work makes my heart even love him more now. Everything is starting to fall into place now :) This articles words are so true and now I can move on with the one I love and be happy agian with no more worries.
Should you be jealous of your boyfriend's ex? Absolutely not! Melissa Cook
explores why worrying about his past relationships can only be
destructive...
We are human beings and we all come with a past; some of us have more baggage than most but essentially, we all come with many a novel inside us.
When you enter into a new relationship with an individual, it is often too difficult to remember that before YOU, he lived and breathed, he had a life! Everyone has a past and the sooner you realise that, and that now you are part of your guy's present (and hopefully the future), your life will be far more peaceful and pleasant!
Here are five suggestions for you to stop worrying about the past and live for today – be present.
According to PracticalHappiness.com, you need to remember that your guy chose to be with you. It is obvious that you have qualities that he finds attractive and these are very possibly qualities that his ex did not have.
What a glorious feeling to know that he comes home to be with you. There is a vast world out there and this individual has deemed you to be the ‘one', the special person that they feel they can confide in and love, this is something to be cherished.
Everyone has a dating past! We are carnal, tactile beings. We love to love and be loved. We want to be needed, nurtured and cared for. It is so important that if your partner's past relationships are a concern for you, then you must have open, honest communication about it.
WikiHow.com advises that you speak to your partner, advise him about your fears and insecurities. You will both grow together if your relationship is based on truth and opening yourself up to how you really feel. More than likely you won't want to know the details, you won't like that your partner had a good relationship with his ex (for a while anyway) but the point is that he is no longer with that person. It is now for both of you to look towards the future, and concentrate on what you can both achieve.
If it is a case of your partner's ex being a parent or a work colleague, discuss how you feel. Don't brood and be sullen, rather talk, express your thoughts, come to a compromise. It is healthy to have this discussion, there is no point in pretending that nobody else existed in each other's lives! It is normal to be curious and intrigued about your boyfriend's past girlfriends, but you must accept that your relationship is unique and should not be compared to anyone else's.
Be open and honest in your relationship. All the time invested in your partner's past relationship will make you miserable and jealous, so rather enhance your own relationship and make it stronger.
Don't focus on the jealousy; rather focus on the strengths of your immediate relationship. Think about all the wonderful things you can do to enrich each other's lives and grow as a couple. The two of you are now exclusive and this must be worked at in a positive, healthy way. Indian mystic and spiritual thinker Osho says “Jealousy and love have become so mixed up. In fact, they are poles apart. A mind that can be jealous cannot be loving, and vice-versa: a mind that is loving cannot be jealous.”
You need to be confident and feel self worth. Nobody can make you feel this way except yourself. The more self confident you are, the more appealing you are.
By placing so much importance on your partner's ex you undermine yourself. Don't do this - don't make yourself seem insignificant. You must value yourself and the value you bring to a relationship. You are a unique individual and this must be celebrated.
The relationship you have with your partner now is personal, no one can ever experience it and this should be acknowledged. All you can do is be yourself and work to make your relationship the best that you can.
Jealousy is a very powerful, crippling emotion. If you spend most of your time obsessing over how things were in your partner's past - stop now! Look at what both of you have now. Jealousy will eventually tear your relationship apart and make you bitter, insecure, anxious and paranoid.
The person that you are with now, the guy that chose to be with you, will eventually tire of your issues and the fact that you can't let go of something that he once had but is now no longer. Stop expecting things to go awry. Stop worrying that maybe he will leave you, go back to his ex etc.
Stop expecting the worst through jealousy, and just nestle in the love that you share together. Have a sense of clarity and perspective, be forever present.
There will always be a happy memory with an ex but you and your partner can create even happier ones!
Author : Melissa Cook
Should you be jealous of your boyfriend's ex?
Absolutely not! Melissa Cook explores why worrying about his past relationships
can ...
Photo © konradbak - Fotolia.com
5 reasons to stop worrying about his ex
We are human beings and we all come with a past; some of us have more baggage than most but essentially, we all come with many a novel inside us.
When you enter into a new relationship with an individual, it is often too difficult to remember that before YOU, he lived and breathed, he had a life! Everyone has a past and the sooner you realise that, and that now you are part of your guy's present (and hopefully the future), your life will be far more peaceful and pleasant!
Here are five suggestions for you to stop worrying about the past and live for today – be present.
According to PracticalHappiness.com, you need to remember that your guy chose to be with you. It is obvious that you have qualities that he finds attractive and these are very possibly qualities that his ex did not have.
What a glorious feeling to know that he comes home to be with you. There is a vast world out there and this individual has deemed you to be the ‘one', the special person that they feel they can confide in and love, this is something to be cherished.
Everyone has a dating past! We are carnal, tactile beings. We love to love and be loved. We want to be needed, nurtured and cared for. It is so important that if your partner's past relationships are a concern for you, then you must have open, honest communication about it.
WikiHow.com advises that you speak to your partner, advise him about your fears and insecurities. You will both grow together if your relationship is based on truth and opening yourself up to how you really feel. More than likely you won't want to know the details, you won't like that your partner had a good relationship with his ex (for a while anyway) but the point is that he is no longer with that person. It is now for both of you to look towards the future, and concentrate on what you can both achieve.
If it is a case of your partner's ex being a parent or a work colleague, discuss how you feel. Don't brood and be sullen, rather talk, express your thoughts, come to a compromise. It is healthy to have this discussion, there is no point in pretending that nobody else existed in each other's lives! It is normal to be curious and intrigued about your boyfriend's past girlfriends, but you must accept that your relationship is unique and should not be compared to anyone else's.
Be open and honest in your relationship. All the time invested in your partner's past relationship will make you miserable and jealous, so rather enhance your own relationship and make it stronger.
Don't focus on the jealousy; rather focus on the strengths of your immediate relationship. Think about all the wonderful things you can do to enrich each other's lives and grow as a couple. The two of you are now exclusive and this must be worked at in a positive, healthy way. Indian mystic and spiritual thinker Osho says “Jealousy and love have become so mixed up. In fact, they are poles apart. A mind that can be jealous cannot be loving, and vice-versa: a mind that is loving cannot be jealous.”
You need to be confident and feel self worth. Nobody can make you feel this way except yourself. The more self confident you are, the more appealing you are.
By placing so much importance on your partner's ex you undermine yourself. Don't do this - don't make yourself seem insignificant. You must value yourself and the value you bring to a relationship. You are a unique individual and this must be celebrated.
The relationship you have with your partner now is personal, no one can ever experience it and this should be acknowledged. All you can do is be yourself and work to make your relationship the best that you can.
Jealousy is a very powerful, crippling emotion. If you spend most of your time obsessing over how things were in your partner's past - stop now! Look at what both of you have now. Jealousy will eventually tear your relationship apart and make you bitter, insecure, anxious and paranoid.
The person that you are with now, the guy that chose to be with you, will eventually tire of your issues and the fact that you can't let go of something that he once had but is now no longer. Stop expecting things to go awry. Stop worrying that maybe he will leave you, go back to his ex etc.
Stop expecting the worst through jealousy, and just nestle in the love that you share together. Have a sense of clarity and perspective, be forever present.
There will always be a happy memory with an ex but you and your partner can create even happier ones!
Author : Melissa Cook
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